The midlife wisdom

The middle-age wisdom, and a dilemma that inevitably comes with maturing:

"How do I make changes to be happier, and what are the changes that I need to make?"

The inspiring complexity of growing older and wiser, and a realization that time is passing way more quickly than we thought. The ability and courage to make the changes that lead toward the accomplishments of the soul, and not only what the world and obligations expect from us.

I love the skin that I am in, and despite many ups and downs, despite difficult issues that I have faced and am facing in my life, much more often than not, I feel fulfilled, because I have allowed myself time and effort to get to know myself and explore that person in depth.

Of course, let's be honest, nobody is fulfilled all the time, and happiness exists and really thrives mostly when we are the least aware of it. Despite battling countless life challenges like most of people, I have found that the following can always improve, not only our ways of thinking, but our entire existence by placing us levels and levels above the mundane and ordinary. Unusual is where the magic happens, and it is so nice once we are able to find that space. It need not last all of the time, but is must be a corner that safely waits for us whenever we need to find ourselves again, away from the crowd and noise.

1. Knowing what you want in the present time (not what you think you want, but what your heart and soul truly desire in the now, based on all the experience and knowledge accumulated throughout the ups and downs) is the road that leads to progress on every possible level, and it always brings motivation and enthusiasm. This is so important, because we easily fall into habits, and life problems easily accumulate, causing stress and unease. Reinventing ourselves is the key, and we do that by finding out, over and over again, what it is that we want in the now.

2. We do not have the same desires that we used to, things and people, naturally- and hopefully, change

3. Let yourself feel and express those feelings freely, and let your loved one do the same

4. It is a gradual process; start with being totally honest about your inner self, wishes, expectations, and also about other people's needs and characters that have changed over time too; if someone or something needs letting go, do not be afraid to let life take care of it. I have found that changing my own frequency inadvertently has lead to some old, unnecessary things and unfortunately, or maybe very fortunately, some people to fall away too. Life is a learning process, and we need to allow it to do what it must, teach us all our lessons and propel us forward in the game

5. Wisdom comes with age, and aging well means allowing the maturity to fulfill us with answers while we remove the protective walls

6. Listen to yourself and your inner guru, we all have it, and it is never wrong

7. Take time to investigate your own inner spheres and follow the heart's desires step by step through meditation, yoga, walks in the nature, honest talks with friends, and lots and lots of self-introspection, creating a new reality that better suits your true, ever changing nature

8. Ultimately, stare all the fears in the eye and take the concrete steps toward your heart's desires

9. Do not expect others to make miracles happen for you or to make you happy.

10. Our happiness depends solely on our own self improvement and awareness. Nobody has an obligation to make us happy. especially if they are not able to. It takes lots of courage and determination to accept truths in life and allow ourselves to learn how to be in the flow. Fear is powerful, and if usually restricts all movement forward.

11. However, before making any radical changes, look deep into your own soul, introspect more and again, and be sure to also make the changes within.

12. If you think that you need help, do not hesitate to ask for it. Good people love to help, and there is so much help available at all times. It is always way braver to reach out than to let the fear, past trauma, others' opinions, pride, and pain keep us from moving forward

13. Do what makes your heart smile and enjoy the sheer satisfaction of doing what you love, because this is exceptionally liberating

14. Keep eight coins in your wallet for luck as per Chinese tradition:)

The Moon changes and so do we

Why is it so important to follow one's own true purpose and not enter the second half of as per old recipes? Why is it so important to let ourselves express our feelings and expectations fearlessly? Why is it so crucial to let ourselves be childishly happy? So that we can enjoy life much more fully by eliminating regrets, despite the accumulated mistakes, losses, and luggage.

We can now do it, because we have the courage, and we have the knowledge.

Happiness is a choice and not something that gets served to us. We can change habits, we can become more fearless, and we can decide to stop being edgy and fearful, laugh more, and become more relaxed and in tune. We can allow negative feelings and anger to eat a good portion of our inner peace, or we can be kindly honest about them, let them out, and move on. Being courageous always opens up new doors to great possibilities and happiness. This is what we owe to ourselves to stay healthy and age gracefully.

I have just had a discussion with my friends about the importance of money in life and whether or not lots of money can make us truly happy. We each had our own answer to this question. If asked whether you would prefer to go back in time and fix whatever you think should have been done differently or be given 10 million dollars in cash to live worry free the rest of your days, 9 out of 10 people would choose cash. I know that without those mistakes, we would not be who we are, and the knowledge that we have would not exist. Still, If I could, I'd choose to go back in time and fix certain things.

Does this answer the question of whether I am ultimately happy or not in the now?

I do not think such a question can ever be answered in simple terms. Even though 10 million in cash would facilitate things tremendously, I am happy and consider myself lucky without lots of money and even without good health. I used to think that by going back in time, I might have saved some people who are not with me anymore and whose deaths were very strange accidents, I thought that is what I would do...now I know that my actions, desires, and regrets could not change anything, because absolutely everything happens for a reason and at precisely the time that it has to happen.

I was not aware of myself enough when I was younger. I was sometimes afraid to speak up or express my feelings, often I was not letting myself be happy, because I thought that I owed it to others to make them happy and care for them much more than for myself, and I always, always thought that I had to be strong and resilient. I never learned how to be vulnerable, because I simply never let myself be. This led to heartbreaks and an inability to clearly express my feelings, especially with certain people; it lead to some large turning points and things that could never be undone. It led to me building huge protective walls around myself. When you do not show vulnerability, everyone thinks that you are so strong that nothing in this world can shake you, and that you do not need support or help.

We need to let ourselves be all of these things: Vulnerable, brave- but not for others only, brave to express our feelings freely and completely, sometimes even helpless, and determined to be honest, no matter what. Happiness is what we owe to ourselves first and foremost, without regrets, without excuse, and without having to answer to anyone, and happiness is achieved by being raw, vulnerable, sincere, kind, and honest to the core.

If I could go back in time, I would regain my youth and still have, most probably another 70 or more years into the future, so I could work with. Going back in time to learn teach our younger self the secrets of life would be worth all the money in the world, but it does not work that way, and for a reason. Would you want to take the risk of time travel, a possibility to alter the course of things? I do not think that any of us would. At least, not in the current concept of time, because there is no such thing as a rewrite of life. I don't know. The wisdom to have had the courage and knowledge to operate my life in a much smarter way would have been handy 20 years ago, so It would be way too tempting not to time travel, but altering present- I would never do it despite all the hardship that I have lived and am living through. Oh, the wisdom of maturity and a 20/20 hindsight!

Maybe, there are people born with this ability to clearly see things right from the start thus mapping out a life with almost 100% productivity, but most of us have to learn through pretty constant trials and errors. I do not think that I am being regretful, just daydreaming about a possibility to bring this amazing knowledge that I now have- to the forefront of my beautiful young days and then flying sky high with it! But, we cannot go back in time and fix things in order to have a near-perfect present, and that is more than fine. Acceptance and gratitude are paramount in the now, the learning and accumulating knowledge is the key.

So, let's format our lives as per our own, individual recipes. Let's use all this wisdom and power gathered over the years, and let's release regret and resentment. Nothing is set in stone unless we want it to be, everything is fluid. Let's find the time to care for ourselves and our wishes in the now without looking back.

Change can be a small stepping stone or a large feat. However it happens and whatever it entails, it will ultimately enrich our existence when aligned with our true feelings and desires. Let's unload the luggage and make the second half count even more, because if we don't, what have we built all this experience and knowledge for?

How am I doing it? By not being afraid of anything and anyone anymore, by making the effort and constantly working on self- awareness, by following my own inner guru, my desires, and by changing the attitude and habits one by one accordingly.

Who can ask more from us? Love and hugs